Thursday, March 8, 2012

Best book ever? Wesley Crusher: Teenage F#ck Machine

I discovered this via Regretsy while trying to avoid studying for my Spanish exam. It's quite possibly the best worst book ever. My article is tame, but the book itself is most assuredly NSFW.

Imagine Wesley Crusher. If you're not familiar with him, google Wil Wheaton and/or Wesley Crusher and watch a few videos of him on YouTube. Go ahead, I'll wait.

(Rifles through flascards. Cierro... los libros... Oh, you're back already? My bad.)

So anyway, Star Trek fans generally have two reactions to Wesley. Either they want to shoot him out an airlock or they're fans of the character. There's a third group that doesn't really care one way or another about him, but the extremes are the most vocal. And boy is this extreme vocal.

Penned by one "Kitty Glitter", Wesley Crusher: Teenage F#ck Machine goes where not many fanfic authors have gone before: onto the Amazon marketplace where the author hopes it'll land on your kindle. If you're a Prime member, you can read this book for free. If not, you have to pay $3 for it or wait for the inevitable bootleg copy to circulate the internet.

The premise is that you have Wesley Crusher and feline pilot Meow Solo. The brief bit that I read on Regretsy's article (click here for that article) had the two doing to do with a random unnamed girl on a holodeck. Picard interrupts and gets shot by Moriarty. This is where the sample ends, but I imagine that hilarity ensues. Amazon has a sample of the book posted if you're curious. (Click here)

It's pretty obvious that this is as "real" as My Immortal was, but it's still pretty funny. Wheaton has taken the fanfic in stride, further proving how awesome he is as a human being by being willing to laugh at himself and his crazy, crazy fandom.


  1. Thanks for posting this. I am Kitty Glitter. Glad you like my story. :)

  2. LOL, it's the best fanfic I've read in quite a while.

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