Monday, November 19, 2012

They published what? 5 of the WTF-iest books on Amazon

Ah Amazon. Home to some of the most strange things that the Internet can hold. Here are some of the strangest books I could find on Amazon. Note that these aren't necessarily the strangest, just the strangest I've found so far. Unsurprisingly, many of these are self-published, not that there's anything wrong with that.

Remember Wesley Crusher: Teenage F*ck Machine? Yep. We all do. Now the same person who brought you that timeless class also brings you a sequel to The Color Purple. I honestly don't think I need to write any more than that.

Yes, that is a book written by a licensed physician about masturbating your way to success. While I'm certain that the book isn't as simple as "whip out your wangdoodles and shake it all over your boss/client's vicious knid", but I will say that if masturbation really had a secret technique that unlocked success, then we'd have a lot more Donald Trump type people out there.
I'm fully aware that most everyone out there has seen this book, but it still takes one aback that someone actually took the time to not only create recipes that used semen, but to (presumably) perfect them. I suppose asking "do you swallow" in Photenhauer's house is an easily answered question.

What makes this book so particularly WTF? It's not the book as much as it's the claims behind the book. According to the author, the material in this book is so outrageous, so controversial, that the government has been following him to various websites and ensuring that it would be removed somehow. Apparently Wikipedia is part of the conspiracy, making up rules just to ensure that his "truthful" tome would remain obscure. Considering that this is the same website that has an article for alien abduction insurance, I can't help but think that this is less a conspiracy and more that the article was so crazy that even Wikipedia cried uncle. Tin foil hats are not included with this book.

Ever wonder what you should put hydrogen peroxide on? Ever wonder what you shouldn't? Luckily for you and I, Lisa Barnes is here to tell us. Some of the information does seem to be interesting, such as the ability to use HP to clean contact lenses, much of this falls under the "well duh" category. I think most of us ladies are pretty aware that you shouldn't use HP to clean your hooha.

This one is just because of its name. No matter how great the book is, most of us will never get past the title.


  1. On a further search, I think I might nominate all of Mellick's stuff. He seems to be incredibly well received within his genre, but those titles are some of the craziest stuff I've read. I have to admit, I'm curious.

  2. Ugh, I'd just managed to forget about Natural Harvest. Thanks for the reminder! :P