Then I saw the spam in response to my 2014 post about Fated, the vampire series that was accused of plagiarizing other work. I started deleting some of it, but I'm going to have to leave it up because it's just that freaking hilarious. I'd like to think that some of it is snark. With about 40+ comments that are almost entirely spam, I'd really like to assume it's snark. I'm going to leave the e-mails up on this because I figure that if you e-mail them seriously looking for vampirism, then it's on you for whatever else happens.
Yes, you read that right. When I came across it, I saw that it had 44 comments (I've deleted two). Only three of those (one of which is mine) are actually about the article. The others give off vague promises that you too can have a life of excitement and wealth as an undying bloodsucker. One of which even promises that you could accomplish this with just a mere "snack of my finger".
You heard that right guys, all you need to do to gain immortality is bite off one of these guy's fingers. Brings a whole new perspective to the term "finger foods".
Pictured here: a child achieving immortality and literally becoming a child of the night. (Image from Death and Taxes Magazine.)
That doesn't seem enticing? (I don't doubt you, because I'm pretty sure that this guy is a zombie trying to trick unsuspecting vampire wanna bes into joining Team Zombie.) Want something that actually seems like it'd be from a vampire? How about paying this person some money to (presumably) get a vial of blood in the mail?
Seems legit.
I'm sure that you'll likely get something from that, but it's probably not going to be vampirism.
Not pictured here: diseases.
There are others in the comments making similar promises, one of which swears that a hot Indian vampire transformed her into a being that requires no sex, which is good if you want to be a Masquerade vampire, but bad if you're hoping on having that hawt, hawt vampire sex that's so frequently depicted in various films and books.
If you want to read the hilarity, you can do so here. I'll be disappointed if I don't get spam in this article's comments section promising me immortality in return for my bank account number or general cash transfer, to be honest.
ReplyDeleteA GREAT SPELL CASTER (DR.TAKUTA) THAT HELP
ME GET MY EX HUSBAND BACK, AM SO HAPPY
My name is LUCY SETHI from USA .I am here to
give testimony on how I got my husband back.
My husband left me for no reason 3 years ago.
He moved in with another woman, I felt like
killing myself, my life became very bitter and
sorrowful. Then 1 day, a friend of mine told me
about a great spell caster that is very good and,
he said he gave him some lucky numbers that he
played in a lottery and he won. I didn't believe it
because I've worked with so many of them and it
didn't work. He begged me further so I decided
to try this great spell caster called DR TAKUTA. I
still didn't believe. I used the spell he gave me
and the next day I received a call from my
darling husband Thomas last month. He
apologized and came back to me. He even gave
me 10,000USD as a means of compensating me.
I'm very happy now. please i will advise you to contact him
now and see for your self his Email is via____
takutaspellalter@gmail.com or whatsapp him
through the following contact on +27788634102
Dr.TAKUTA also cures:
1. HEPATITIS A,B,C
2. HERPES 1/2
3.DIABETES
4.STROKE.
5.AIDS HERBAL CURE, STDS and STI
6. MARRIAGE COUNSELLING
7.LOVE SPELL CASTING
8.JOB PROMOTION SPELLS
9.MARITAL PROBLEM
10.MAGIC MONEY SPELLS
I really want to thank Dr Emu for saving my marriage. My wife really treated me badly and left home for almost 3 month this got me sick and confused. Then I told my friend about how my wife has changed towards me then she told me to contact Dr Emu that he will help me bring back my wife and change her back to a good woman. I never believed in all this but I gave it a try. Dr Emu casted a spell of return of love on her, and my wife came back home for forgiveness and today we are happy again. If you are going through any relationship stress or you want back your Ex or Divorce husband you can contact his whatsapp +2347012841542 or email emutemple@gmail.com
ReplyDeleteFive weeks ago my boyfriend broke up with me. It all started when i went to summer camp i was trying to contact him but it was not going through. So when I came back from camp I saw him with a young lady kissing in his bed room, I was frustrated and it gave me a sleepless night. I thought he will come back to apologies but he didn't come for almost three week i was really hurt but i thank Dr.Azuka for all he did i met Dr.Azuka during my search at the internet i decided to contact him on his email dr.azukasolutionhome@gmail.com he brought my boyfriend back to me just within 48 hours i am really happy.
ReplyDelete