Mental Health: Not always a matter of will

A few days ago an author posted a tweet. This isn't really news, as many authors post tweets every day. This, however, was one that I kind of felt was harmful in several ways.

The post in question was from global bestselling author Laurell K Hamilton on the subject of mental illness and while I don't think she meant any true ill will, it's something that made me more than a little mad.

I've seen people overcome tremendous odds & others with all the help fail. Force of will makes the difference. @econoprof @darrincoe
— Laurell K. Hamilton (@LKHamilton) October 5, 2013

The gist of the tweet was that Hamilton was talking about her own battle with mental illness and how she felt like she was taking charge of the situation. However at the same time the tweet sends off a dangerous message: that what happens in the course of mental illness is all down to choice.

Don't get me wrong. To a degree choice does factor into how your mental illness unfolds. If someone knows that they are suffering from a mental illness, has the ability to access mental health care, and chooses to do so, then they are influencing their future. The same goes for someone in this situation who chooses not to get help.

However mental illness isn't as easy as getting help and telling yourself that you won't do something harmful. It doesn't work that way. If it did, then every clinic out there would have people who walk in and out of the doctor's office in perfect mental health.

Sometimes a person can have depression that sinks in so heavily that they can't stop themselves from doing or thinking things that are detrimental to themselves and the people around them. Even if a portion of their brain is screaming out that picking up that shotgun is not the answer, their mental illness is screaming at them even louder and makes it impossible for that part of their mind to be heard.

Sometimes people can really, really want to break a cycle of mental illness but have no access to health care. Yes, yes. I know that some will say that many places have free or nearly free health facilities or suicide hotline numbers to call to talk to people. Not everyone has the ability to access those and for some, the free or nearly free alternatives aren't enough. Despite this being a bright shiny world where people are supposed to have more access to health care options and support groups than ever before, not everyone has equal access to these things.

And sometimes a person's culture, environment, or upbringing can make an equally huge difference. Some people grow up being told that seeking a psychiatrist or therapist means that you're completely and utterly broken, that there's something so wrong with you that you deserve to be locked away from humanity. There was and in many places, still is a huge stigma associated with seeking professional help. Some cultures and religions still see this kind of therapy as "bad".

The problem with all of this, and I'm running into a rant here, is that it's not as easy as saying that someone's will will make all the difference in how their mental health unfolds. A person can have access to great health care, have a huge support network, and a wonderfully rational mind full of common sense... yet still be unable to will themselves healthy. For Hamilton to essentially make it seem like mental health is all about telling yourself you won't fail is a hugely dangerous message.

It tells people that if their minds are telling them that they're worthless, that they aren't "trying hard enough to be happy". Hyperbole and a Half did an excellent blog on how depression isn't always easily solved by you trying to will yourself into a happy state. A person can know that their line of thinking isn't "right" or "logical" and try so damn hard to turn everything around... yet it doesn't work. For someone to say that "Force of will makes the difference" can make people feel like they're even more useless and that they aren't doing things right.

The problem is that there's no right way to do things. Sometimes someone can go into things with an extremely strong will and the mindset that they will beat their depression... yet still end up losing the battle.

How do I know this?

A few years ago my uncle shot himself. He'd been battling depression for years and had a mind that was unbelievable. My uncle had an amazingly large circle of friends, family, and students. He made a huge impact on the people around him to where we couldn't have all of his mourners in the funeral home. We still have people stop by my grandparents' house on the anniversary of his death. My uncle was far from perfect, but he was what people call "a damn good person".

But he still shot himself. And yes, he reached out to people around him for help. But sometimes none of that is enough. Sometimes someone can get so overwhelmed with their depression and mental problems that all of the ideas of willpower, support networks, and professional help get washed away in the moment. Sometimes people can have that brief moment where they can call for help. Sometimes they have people around them that can call for help. But sometimes they don't. My uncle fought for a long time and he was one of thousands of people who lose the fight against depression every year.

Don't get me wrong. A mindset can have an impact on someone's mental health. It's just that so often people tend to assume that someone can will themselves out of depression. Sometimes they can. But not everyone. That's why it's very dangerous to make blanket statements like the one Hamilton did.

If she was some nobody then this might not be so bad, but she's someone with a large audience and her words get read by a lot of people. I don't think her intent was to make it sound like someone can will themselves better and that if they fail then it's because they "didn't try hard enough", but that's what it comes across like.

I haven't posted in a really long time due to school, but Hamilton's tweet pissed me off royally and I had to write something about it.

Further reading:

*Hyperbole and a Half: Adventures in Depression
*Hyperbole and a Half: Depression Part 2

Audio Review: Kiss the Dead by Laurell K Hamilton

Title: Kiss the Dead (Anita Blake #21)
Author: Laurell K Hamilton
Narrator: Kimberly Alexis
Publisher: Penguin Audio
Release Date: June 5th, 2012
ISBN: 1611760739






It's been a while since I've really found anything to unequivocally like about the Anita Blake series, but I have to say that  I absolutely adore the narrator for the series, Kimberly Alexis. She's absolutely fabulous and pretty much the only reason I was able to make it through the book as a whole.

Sunday Times and New York Times bestselling author Laurell K. Hamilton returns with another exciting, thrilling and addictive adventure for her vampire hunting heroine Anita Blake. I knew without doubt that if any more of the vampires tried to attack us I'd kill them, too, regardless of apparent age, race, sex, or religious affiliations. I was an equal-opportunity executioner; I killed everybody. My name is Anita Blake and I am a vampire hunter and necromancer, as well as a US Marshal. So when a fifteen-year-old girl is abducted by vampires, it's up to me to find her. And when I do, I'm faced with something I've never seen before: a terrifyingly ordinary group of people - kids, grandparents, soccer moms - all recently turned and willing to die to avoid serving their vampire master. And where there's one martyr, I know there will be more...But even vampires have monsters that they're afraid of. And I'm one of them...

One of the biggest problems for the series is that Hamilton is too repetitive, which is also one of the biggest problems for Kiss the Dead. She pelts the reader with description after description of the hair, eyes, and clothes of various characters. Some of this wouldn't be so bad except that Hamilton will re-describe characteristics that she's already described earlier in the book. I felt like screaming every time she beat me over the head with the "natural born tigers have tiger eyes, it's a sign of purity to them" bit, which she re-states over and over and over again. I think I actually screamed "I *got* it, Laurell. I haven't forgotten that!" at one point.

The constant references to Anita as a "guy" was pretty annoying as well. For some reason at least a third to a fourth of the book (if not more) is taken up by Anita and others talking and thinking about how she's presumably one of the only women on earth capable of understanding guys or being able to do "guy code". Women are routinely painted as creatures who must talk about their feelings for a half hour in order to get a point across and men that can't instantly get information from other guys they know are painted up as wimps or lesser. I've ignored this for the most part, but it just seemed a little overly offensive at times in this book. I know that Hamilton doesn't mean for it to come across as such and really only wants to use it to make Anita more special and more tough, but it's really just annoying. Even worse, it's boring. If it was just annoying it could be used to enhance the book, but at this point it's such an over stated and redundant character point that I just felt bored and was tempted to fast forward past this part.

The other downfall of the book was Hamilton's attempts to force the character of Anita into specific situations. I'm guessing that Cynric (now dubbed "Sin") is going to become the latest serious sweetie in a chain of others. Now I'm fully aware of his controversial introduction, but that actually didn't play too much into this. It's just that I can't quite see him as someone Anita is supposedly going to maybe fall in love with. I see Anita liking him and enjoying the sex, but love? Nah. There's actually less romantic tension between them than there is/was with Anita and Jason. I just can't help but get the feeling that Hamilton is trying to push a romance between them and I'm not sure why. There's really no point to it and his character isn't interesting enough (even with the controversy) to where he really needs to be such a central focus.

What makes the above so frustrating is that Hamilton pours over all of this, extending it out for chapters at a time. It made the book tedious, which is a shame: there's some good points to this book that would've really shone if it was about 100 pages shorter. One of the things I enjoyed about Flirt was that it was a novella and as such, cut through all of the nonsense that Hamilton usually tries to fit into her books. We're given some good plot points, such as vampires that want to be "free" of any master, a potential resolution to the Asher drama, and control over the ardeur and new dangers it might hold. It's just that these are mostly and inexplicably moved to the side in favor of dragging out the same tired old relationship dramas, the boring and repetitive praising of Anita, and monotonous sex scenes.

I do have to say that Hamilton does seem to be slowly, very slowly improving, but this isn't enough for me to jump aboard the Anita Blake bandwagon again. However, as long as the marvelous Kimberly Alexis continues to narrate the books, I'll continue to check out the audiobooks from my library. I absolutely love her voice and her reading style. I guess I'll just hope that Hamilton will eventually dig herself out from the rut she's fallen into and will give Alexis a book that will do her voice justice.

Two out of four stars

The Diva Ate Her & Laurell K Hamilton

If you're aware of the inner circle of Laurell K Hamilton, then you've probably heard of Darla Cook. Up until a few years ago, Darla worked for Hamilton as a personal assistant & helped maintain various parts of the website, fanclub, & storefront. Neither party has really given out a lot of information as to why Darla no longer works for Ma Petite Enterprises.

A few months after she'd posted about her newly unemployed status, Darla started posting excerpts of a then untitled book she'd been working on. The book was to be about a beleaguered employee of a best selling author who was well on her way to becoming queen of the divas. While Darla has since removed the posts from her myspace account, excerpts can still be seen on the internet.

When the blog posts were up, Darla claimed that the book was not based upon her time with Hamilton & was instead based on a mashup of various author diva antics, with only one part of the book being based on an actual Hamilton event. (The event in question was an overreaction to a floral delivery.)

Even so, certain sites are still abuzz about how much of the book is based on Hamilton & how much of it isn't. (I'll admit, I started one of the various threads about said book.) I have to admit that when I'd read the book I couldn't help but mentally compare the character of Miriam (the diva author) to Hamilton.

Is the book based off of Hamilton? I can't entirely say because quite obviously, neither side is talking & all I have to go on are rumors that can't really be verified. Either way, the speculation is sure to fuel more than a few sales for Darla's new book.

The Diva Ate Her is available for purchase on Amazon via the Kindle.