And you thought your review was bad?

Hi all!

I couldn't help but post what I think has to be one of the most negatively reviewed books out there:

The Dark Chronicles by  Cynthia Soroka.

I came across these Amazon reviews while going about my merry way, looking for things to report on. I'll just say that this has to be one of the nastiest, yet funniest, negative reviews I've ever read. It's so over the top that you honestly can't say that it's really offensive. At least not when you compare it to reviews for books such as the Maradonia series by Gloria Tesch. But then again, that's a different story since she managed to somehow get the attention of ED.

Reviews for this book on Amazon have nuggets such as:

"Sweet mother of pearl! Cynthia Soroka has created a masterpiece. This book should be purchased by every aspiring author for inspiration. If (...)this can get published, then so should just about any author who can string a couple words together."

"This book was so bad, the bookstore owner tried to talk me out of buying it!"

"The characters are such hollow cliches that you will laugh at their illogical (and pointless) predicaments, and cry when you realize that you still have more pages to wade through. You will find yourself unable to choose between reading more of the horrid, soap opera dialogue and being punched in the stomach repeatedly by a random thug."

All culminating in the following review:

"this is the worst book i have EVER tried to read. bar none, totaly the worst. i would rather roll over tiny bits of broken glass, then jump into a vat of lemon juice than ever have to even look at the cover of this book ever again. i can only guess the ONE 'fan' must have read a different book. 

random S&M bits, bad soap opera dialog, senseless plot changes (when you could find the plot), zero demensioned characters, over simplistic explainations....GRRRR.... i am so stunned at how bad this was, i can't even spell right!! neither could the author, nor can she write anything beyond an 8th grade level, as far as i could tell. this book begs the question, was it blackmail or what, that got this drivel published?

 i have half a mind to email the writer so i can demand back the half an hour of my life i gave to this 'book'! i can't even bring myself to take this back to the used shop i bought this in, i just threw it away. i didn't want anyone to see that i had actually spent money on it...did i mention this book was horrid? yes, i thought so....."

I actually feel a little sorry for the author, if she read any of it. It's all valid criticism but ouch. The reviews on Goodreads aren't much better.  So next time you think that your negative review is bad, just remember that that person probably isn't stating that they would rather roll in glass and bathe in lemon juice than to read the book again.